Crazy Note Lady

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge proponent of therapy. I love the fact that I can pay someone to listen to my insanity (this is not a therapist=approved term), and they can't judge me (but that last piece is not true, according to my anti-therapy mother). I get to chatter away to this stranger about anything from my recent terrible salon experience to not wanting to have kids. And we concentrate on mindfulness, and I cry. A lot. That's how I know I've found a great therapist: How many times can I have a meltdown during our session? One is good, two is great, three or more is utterly fantastic! All this to say, I found an utterly fantastic therapist this weekend, and I plan on becoming a dangerous force of...something...in the near future. :)

One of the things that I love to do, which I learned from my virgin therapist experience years ago, is positive self-talk. I used to put little notes to myself all over my apartment and car where I would be forced to read them every day. It looks weird to outsiders, and it feels weird at first, but the funny thing is, you start to believe what you feed your mind every day. It's like everything else that you encounter on a daily basis: Odds are, if you feed yourself positivity, you'll become a more positive being. Just like eating healthy and working out instead of binge-drinking and eating fast food does wonders for your body, the things you allow yourself to ingest in terms of how people treat you and how you talk to yourself makes all the difference. It simply takes time. I heard somewhere (probably from a Billy Blanks workout video), that you didn't gain the weight overnight, so it's not going to come off overnight. Same goes for your brain. We are all so messed up, but it just takes time (and sometimes, sweat and tears) to make things right again. Everything is fixable!

My new, fabulous mind-trainer gave me a couple homework assignments...The first is to sit for five minutes each morning and just be. Let thoughts come and go, noticing how each thought makes me feel. The second is to stop "disclaiming". I tend to disclaim everything, as in, "I'm just in insurance," instead of owning the fact that I worked my ass off to become an Account Executive. Or, "This is so stupid, but..." instead of just telling a story and not worrying about what the other person thinks. And the third project I gave myself: Positive notes.

Currently, I have scribbled on my bathroom mirror five sentences (because I spend WAAAAY too much time in there, lol). It's embarrassing to know that anyone who comes into my apartment will see the things in plain sight that I feel the most self-conscious about; but those who judge me probably aren't worth having around, anyhow.

I also like to angrily stomp up The Incline until I can smile all huge again!