I did not realize that rape had become such an epidemic until recently.
I have always feared it, investing in mace and self-defense tactics that I have thankfully never had to use. I have experienced it, both personally and through those I hold dear. But I guess I thought that this was the result of terrible decisions that could have ultimately been avoided. I spent a lot of time feeling ashamed, as so many do; ultimately blaming myself for something that wasn't my fault. I didn't realize that this dismissal was in fact my active participation in rape culture and slut-shaming.
There has been a recent explosion of anti-rape legislation (such as California's "Yes means Yes") and overwhelming media support for education and calls for action by both men and women to help stop rape in every form. It's well overdue.
We teach women to be sexy, but not too sexy, because you're asking for "it" if you rock cleavage and celebrate your body in a way that could set him (whoever "him" is) off.
We tell girls to play hard to get, enforcing the culture that "No might mean Yes". We tell them that if he takes you out to dinner, don't order something expensive unless you're going to put out. (I'm sorry, a steak is not a ticket to get into my pants!)
It's one of the many things that you don't give a second thought to, but these lessons have been taught and held as truth for far too long! We let girls believe that once they get to a certain point in their relationship, they must engage in sex. Or, if they engage sexually to a certain point with a guy and then want to stop, that it's not fair to the guy. Blue balls is not going to destroy his life the way rape could destroy hers.
Surprisingly, it's even in the comedies we watch with our families. On an old episode of 'Modern Family', Claire was stuffing a turkey and the boys in the show were making jokes: "At least buy me dinner first!", one of them quipped. Yeah, it's a turkey. But the message is clear: rape is something to be joked about. And this is what's wrong.
We put the onus on the victim to avoid rape, but when are we teaching people that forcing anything unwanted or unsolicited, whether it's a kiss or more, is NEVER okay?
We have the opportunity on the daily to make a positive impact on the world around us.
Whether one goes through their day searching for good deeds to be done,
or simply takes advantage of random opportunities to spread love,
every action (or inaction) has a resounding impact.
The question is: Is your impact today going to be positive, negative, or indifferent?
I have been told that one person can't make a difference.
I affectionately call these people "dummies"...
Those who actively try to hold the rest of us down,
those who would rather watch you drown than help you soar, those who can't grasp the power of positivity to create change.
Whether it's a great recipe found, or an uplifting story to share, you can be sure to find it here.
Let's start a Positivity Revolution, and drown out the dumb!
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