Curiosity vs. Anger

I have this wonderful quote in my office that says, "Be curious, not judgmental."

I work in an office where the majority are women, and it seems that in this industry I chose, this is quite the norm. I'm not saying all women are bitchy, but as part of the fairer sex, I do know that we can be overly-sensitive. I also participate (accidentally, mind you) in the phenomenon that I like to call "Zero to Crazy". This is when one seemingly innocent or insignificant thing happens, and it sets off a quick-reacting string of thoughts that leads to CrazyTown. Sometimes it takes a full day to get to CrazyTown, sometimes it only takes a few minutes. In fact, I was just there last night! It took a couple hours to make the trip, and luckily the visit didn't last the whole evening...but I'm afraid that story belongs to a different day, and a different post.

The reason I searched out this quote about being curious is because it is SO easy when communicating via email with needy clients and competitive women, to misconstrue the smallest note or comment. I've written before about how women should be lifting each other up, but this can't happen without communication. And communication without immediate judgment. So instead of seeing red when someone does something seemingly stupid or mean, I take a deep breath and a step back. If I were to approach the situation without emotion, what was this person trying to communicate? If I can't figure it out using logic, I ask. Every once in a while, the person was really trying to be shitty. But 90% of the time, it was innocent on their part and just misunderstood on mine.

Can you imagine if everyone took the curious road, instead of immediately assuming they knew the intent of the other person? We could spend so much more time getting things done, and eliminate unnecessary strife and drama.

The Good Kind of Squash

I used to be a very picky eater. My mom was a health-food nut, and even though I'll eat all kinds of "disgusting" veggies now, it wasn't something I wanted any part of when I was a kid. They also hadn't invented edible whole-grain bread back then, so I was stuck with sprouts-and-cucumber sandwiches between two slices of cardboard. It's surprising that I didn't get beat up every day at school!

It seems that each year that's gone by, I've added more foods to my "OK" list. First it was green peppers, then red peppers, mushrooms, sushi (I know that's not a vegetable, but whatevs), and now, squash. Specifically, spaghetti squash. This recipe is my veggie favorite, and when I'm cooking for just me, it's a healthy and easy dinner! (The boyfriend is still riding the "veggies are gross" train.)

Take a small-ish spaghetti squash and poke holes all over with a fork, then microwave for about 8 minutes, so you can cut it without the danger of slicing your finger off. (The first time I made this, I tried to cut it while raw, and realized 1) that I am not The Hulk, and 2) I am smarter than the squash. So, I microwave it first to make it a bit easier and safer for my piggies.) Using a towel to remove, because it will scorch your little fingers, place on a cutting board and cut in half length-wise. Then, place face-down in a glass casserole dish with about a 1/4 inch of water, and pop in the microwave for another 8 minutes. While this is cooking, slice up your fave veggies (I used red onion and Roma tomato).



When the squash is cooked, you can use a fork and just shred off as much as you want to eat. Toss the squash strands with EVOO, salt, pepper, Italian seasoning to taste, and your veggies. Pour a glass of vino and trick your brain into thinking you're eating actual noodles! If you smother it in marinara, it's even better.

Happy eating!

Dangerous Confidence

Matt and I made the 5-hour treck to Michigan this weekend for his wonderful mother's birthday celebration. As we were driving at a responsible speed for all of these five hours, we witnessed oh-so many terrible drivers. Not terrible like, "Hey there, you didn't use your blinker," but terrible as in, "Pleeeease pull that person over before they kill someone." I rarely root for cops, but there were a couple times yesterday that I was hoping for one to materialize. How come they are always there to speed-trap you on your way to work in the morning, but there's no one to reprimand that tailgater at 90 miles per hour? All you can do is look on and hope they don't come near you.

It's always been a slightly terrifying experience driving in Ohio. I see accidents every day, and I guarantee my blood pressure spikes on the 30-minute drive to and from the office five days a week. How much less stressful would your drive be if you knew that people were not using their vehicles as weapons? If you knew that someone wasn't going to cut you off, would you be more willing to let them into your lane? If you knew that the car in front of you wasn't going to break check you, would you continue to tailgate? I'm making a Pledge to make my driving safer, by realizing that my massive vehicle is in actuality a deadly machine if misused.

I pledge not to text, or read texts while in motion; I pledge not to use my vehicle in an aggressive manner; I pledge to understand that a moment's distraction can mean a lifetime of regret.

What do you pledge?

Celebrating Life and Death

“ On October 31, All Hallows Eve, the children make a children's altar to invite the angelitos (spirits of dead children) to come back for a visit. November 1 is All Saints Day, and the adult spirits will come to visit. November 2 is All Souls Day, when families go to the cemetery to decorate the graves and tombs of their relatives. The three-day fiesta filled with marigolds, the flowers of the dead; muertos (the bread of the dead); sugar skulls; cardboard skeletons; tissue paper decorations; fruit and nuts; incense, and other traditional foods and decorations. ”
—Frances Ann Day, Latina and Latino Voices in Literature(Latina and Latino Voices in Literature, Greenwood Publishing Group, page 72)



Today is "All Souls Day", when families can go to the cemetery and adorn the graves of their relatives with beautiful flowers. Living across the country from my family and friends makes it impossible to physically visit the final resting places of those loved and lost over the years; and truthfully, All Souls Day is not something I would have been interested in participating in when I lived in Colorado. I was much more inclined to pretend that death didn't, or wouldn't, happen.

Of course, memories float in every once in a while about friends who have died too young, or family members I wish I could give one more hug to; but the last few days I've been deliberately thinking about those I've lost. It always hurts, but why not choose to celebrate the time we had together instead of pushing those memories away? All Souls Day gives us the opportunity to celebrate the life that was, and I've decided to embrace this tradition.

Death is not something I deal with well. It is so much happier to pretend life will go on forever, than to realize that death comes to us all. I've always wanted to change my thought process surrounding the inevitable. I know the reason I get so sad about death is because I'm terrified for this wonderful life to end; it's pure selfishness. I don't know how I will survive when I lose my sister, or Matt, or my mom, or my best friend (to be honest, I hope I die first). It makes my heart hurt just to think about a world without those I love the most in it, and even more to know almost for certain that I will experience that pain.

BUT...The Day of the Dead and the celebrations that follow provide me the opportunity to face death somewhat fearlessly...I choose to celebrate life AND death.

Pizza for Breakfast

I woke up this morning to a clean kitchen and my boyfriend cooking eggs. "Let's make breakfast pizza!" He exclaimed.
I. Love. His. Face...
The only thing I might love more is pizza in the morning!

We pre-cooked a Pillsbury thin-crust pizza, then topped with 6 cooked eggs, 1/5 of a red onion, 4 strips cooked bacon, and strips of cheddar cheese (I was too lazy to grate).


Sprinkle everything you want on top of your pizza dough, and cook at 350 degrees until melty (about 10 minutes). I think next time, we may spoon a thin layer of sweet barbecue sauce or pesto over the crust first, just to help the eggs stick. You couldn't ask for a more delicious way to start your Sunday!

Chocolate Witch Hats

Happy Halloween, party people! For those of you who have kiddos and need a last-minute class treat; or the child-less who treat their coworkers to regular goodies, this one's for you. This is crazy-easy and pretty adorable.

The most time-intensive piece of this project is unwrapping the dark chocolate kisses, but after that, creation is a breeze...Just squeeze a decent amount of icing onto a cookie (I used the Keebler "thin mints"), press a chocolate kiss in the middle so some oozes out the sides. Then, depending on your icing finesse, draw a little bow onto each. Done!

Definition of Dumb

dumb (dum)
dumb·er, dumb·est adj.
dumbly adv.
dumbness n.

1. a) Lacking the power of speech; b) Often Offensive Incapable of using speech; mute.

2. Temporarily speechless, as with shock or fear: I was dumb with disbelief.

3. Unwilling to speak; taciturn.

4. Not expressed or articulated in sounds or words: dumb resentment.

5. Nautical Not self-propelling.

6. Conspicuously unintelligent; stupid: dumb officials; a dumb decision.

In ordinary spoken English, a sentence such as He is dumb will be interpreted to mean "He is stupid" rather than "He lacks the power of speech." "Lacking the power of speech" is, however, the original sense of the word, but it has been eclipsed by the meaning "stupid." For this change in meaning, it appears that the Germans are responsible. German has a similar and related word dumm that means "stupid," and over time, as a result of the waves of German immigrants to the United States, it has come to influence the meaning of English dumb. This is one of dozens of marks left by German on American English. Some words, like kindergarten, dachshund, and schnapps still have a German feel or are associated to some extent with Germany, but others, like bum, cookbook, fresh (in the meaning "impertinent"), rifle, and noodle have become so thoroughly Americanized their German origins may surprise some.
The above exerpt is from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

I always felt it was important to distinguish what I meant by "Dummies" especially while putting it in the same sentence as "Positivity".

I mean someone who doesn't speak up when they should; someone who doesn't care about their fellow man; someone who is close minded. Positivity is spread by speaking up about injustices; making a change for the better in yourself, your family, and your community; being open to other's beliefs and ideas...You get the idea.